breakfast beany.......

I'm feeling poor this morning. its a self imposed feeling really. I mean I do occasionally get very lazy when it comes to food shopping and I allow my food cupboard to run almost bare...even the fridge is almost empty ie only a few eggs and milk in it along with the usual sauces and associated stuff, I'm sitting here eating baked beans for breakfast...really. it sounds kinda crazy I know but I sometimes allow this scenario to happen..its almost as if I'm testing myself in some way. something along the lines that denial is spiritually cleansing and you feel good about yourself for going through with it for a period. god believing religious folk might understand the process?..others of course will think its crazy. in reality I actually like shopping too...yes even food shopping. many women assume men dont and dont have the patience. but the whole social side to shopping I enjoy like meeting new faces..having a chat...gazing at goods and feeling them...even smelling the newness. I enjoy the set up of shops and sometimes fab displays...different uniforms of brands worn by staff. even discovering or buying different stuff to what I do normally. I enjoy it all..the whole experience. I like shopping with a woman too as it just adds to the fun. women approach shopping so differently to men I find. anyway....my cupboards are not bare because I dislike shopping..or that I'm broke. nor do I have a passion for eating baked beans either in fact I dont like them much..but its all I have. The taste of baked beans in tomato sauce also lingers in the mouth I find but coffee with it is just right ha. I'm sure theres some kind of psychological fix associated to such fasting..not that its proper fasting because of the beans but...its part of the way. I definitely feel like I'm testing myself on the occasions I do this..its not often but occasionally....and I feel good about myself afterwards. do other understand this process?? I think also it relates to a certain character...I mean I'm the type who will walk a number of miles rather then hail a taxi..many wont do that today. another example is...I wont buy a shiny new gadget just for the sake of it when an old object is re-serviceable. or.....my neighbours or friends have modern shiny newish cars. I maybe could go out and buy a new Porsche but chooses to drive around in a 16 year old car which is perfectly good etc etc maybe its the Hippy in me?